Two weeks ago, I moved back home from school. I have successfully survived my freshman year living on campus at a university - and while it wasn't the greatest experience I've ever had, at least I learned from it. I learned the importance of home - I now know that no matter how far away I may be, that there is still a bedroom that's mine, in a house that's mine, with a family inside waiting, with their arms open, to love me and guide me when I need them to.

Home is a nice thing to have - it seems like even when I'm yearning to get out of here and take a road trip or even just have a sleepover, it's always something I look forward to coming back to. And maybe I don't look forward to it right away, but at some point, I crave the familiarity of my home. I crave the environment that I'm accustomed to.

Though as I'm realizing the importance of home, I'm also realizing the importance of independence. At some point in the near future, I hope to be financially stable enough to get an apartment closer to the university I'll be attending in the spring, and to start the adventure of 'living away from home without repeating the drama of living in a dorm across from girls who are loud and often drunk nightly, especially when I need some peace and quiet' with my best friend. I'm not naive enough to think that it's going to be easy, or perfect, but I like to think that once that time comes, I'll be ready to tackle those changes head on.

I start a new job today, and while I'm a bit apprehensive of my ability to be a successful waitress (I can be clumsy at times), but I like to think that maybe it won't be so bad. And worst comes to worst, if it's absolutely horrendous I can put in my notice and try to find a new job that I'm actually capable of doing - but as I said, I'm sure that it won't be that bad.

It's been a little odd moving back home after a year spent in a different bedroom and a different environment, but I'm glad I'm back here. I'm in the process of learning to juggle family, friends, a boyfriend, work, school, and whatever else is expected of me. It definitely isn't going to be easy, but I have faith that I can handle it all. After all, I've never been much of a quitter. As my momma always says, "You were born a fighter." And she's absolutely right.

9/23/08.

I am nothing but yesterday's old news...I wish that I could've meant more to you.

10/29/09.

And that was the day our flame went out
The day I kept on screaming but I made no sound
The day my whole world was whisked away and I was left alone to say...

Oh never, never, never believe in love
Oh never, never, never believe
Oh never, never, never believe in love
For your heart with be deceived

And that was the day I realized everything had been fake
The day I cried so hard I began to shake
The day the midnight sky faded gray
And I was left to say...

Oh never, never, never believe in love
Oh never, never, never believe
Oh never, never, never believe in love
For your heart with be deceived

Oh your heart will be deceived

9/11/08.

Oh I miss the nights and the way the light shone in your eyes.
The way I could feel you next to me.

Oh I miss the sights and the times we felt so infinite.
The way my heart always skipped a beat.

7/13/08.

Second chances. Hearts beating fast. I've got one more chance to make the memories last.

8/8/08.

We'll take the pictures down and flush the memories down the drain; pretend this never happened and wash away this pain.

7/10/08.

Let's stand by that old oak tree again, I'd just turned six and you grabbed my hand. Our dreams were as endless as the star-filled sky. Oh, and looking back now it just makes me cry. Just a couple of kids, not a care in the world. You and me, just a boy and a girl.